What makes my healing anger work at the Toronto Anger Management Clinic so successful, is the fact that I used to suffer from anger addiction and am now totally free.
Healing anger, at the Toronto Anger Management Clinic begins with the acknowledgement of your negative angry mindset.
You must first acknowledge your anger saturated mindset and second, you must become sick of your anger sickness.
You must become sick of our anger dis-ease enough to motivate yourself towards healing our angry behavior.
When I write about healing my anger, I really mean the achievement of total freedom from my anger addiction.
There are a lot of sources of help out there which offer only anger management and controlling of anger.
You can take anger management classes, you can attend anger management workshops, you can also go for anger management counseling sessions.
However, my own life experience with healing anger, confirms the fact that we should higher than mere management or controlling of anger.
We should aim higher because the total freedom from anger a reality.
Knowing and enjoying that reality makes it possible for me to share with you the necessary steps leading to its achievement.
In my own life I came to the point at which healing anger became a necessity.
Healing anger became my necessity simply because my life due to my angry behavior became very difficult not only for those around me but also for myself.
When I became sufficiently sick of being sick of my anger, I started looking for ways to alter my angry behavior.
Becoming sick of my anger-tainted relationship with reality was a prerequisite for entering the path of evolution of my awareness.
It was the beginning of the development of my new and absolutely necessary anger-healing mind orientation.
Only this new anger healing mindset could overcome my old anger polluted consciousness and liberate me from my anger addiction.
The first possible step along the path towards healing anger which came to my awareness was that, I could creatively turn my angry behavior into a game and pay for my angry explosions.
I made a deal with my daughter that each time I exploded with anger, I would pay her for my explosion $10.
Paying $10, was not much in terms of the money, but it was quite a lot in terms of creating in me a new mindset characterized by very humbling acknowledgement of my anger dis-ease, and strengthened my still very shaky healing anger psychic foundation.
It also served as a way to make my young daughter aware that, I was really dealing with a condition over which I had little conscious control, and that I was making authentic, honest efforts towards healing my so painful for everybody around angry behavior.
Another benefit of my game-like approach to dealing with my anger was that, my anger penalty payments, and my humble acknowledgement of my anger dis-ease were developing in the mind of my daughter a mindset of understanding and cooperation rather than just plain resentment.
I soon became aware that my first step - the $10 anger penalty payment mind training game - which I took towards healing my anger addiction, was not enough to liberate me from my angry behavior.
It was a humbling and courageous beginning along the path of healing anger, but my healing form anger definitely required more than my pay-for-anger-explosion game-like approach could ever deliver.
I realized that healing anger required a shift of my conscious awareness, a shift that would make it possible for me to become an observer of my own angry explosions.
It became obvious to me that as long as I could not witness my anger, I had no choice but to identify with it.
And as long as I identified with my anger, healing anger was not really possible, simply because in order to eliminate anger from my life, I would have to terminate my life itself.
My second step towards healing anger was my conscious effort and willingness to contemplate my angry explosions right after they happened.
Even though this contemplative approach to my anger explosions was not eliminating them per se, it served as a very powerful new awareness training activity.
I was training my mind to attend to my anger from a place of a dispassionate, scientist-like, emotionless observer.
I believed that healing anger could be achieved by gradually shifting my ability to witness my angry explosions, from initially only after they happened, to being able to witness them from within the moment of their actual appearance, and eventually even before they became an outwardly manifested reality.
My after-explosion, anger-witnessing exercises soon payed off by enabling me to witness my anger from within an ongoing angry explosion.
I was thrilled by this newly developed ability to observe my anger energy, as I was raging with anger.
I was fascinated by my ability to witness myself raging as if I were watching a movie, and soon developed the skill of turning the soap opera of my angry performance off, by simply making a conscious decision to do so.
Attaining the stage of being able to turn off my angry explosions as they were happening, via an act of my will, gave me a sense of power and control over my formerly misbehaving mind.
What followed my ability to turn off my anger at will, was my ability to laugh at myself whenever I still engaged in my - now tragic comic to me - angry reactions.
I know now that, when we achieve the ability to laugh at our angry explosions, we have made one of the most important steps along our path to recovery from our anger dis-ease.
Advancing further along the path of healing anger obviously required that, I develop the ability to catch my anger before it could take possession of my mind, and suck me into its angry reaction.
Encouraged by my progress, soon, I was able to observe my anger energy arising before it had a chance to take me over and force me into a fit of anger.
Going through the steps towards healing my anger, made me a master observer of the behavior of my own mind.
My progress made me realize something that I had heard before, but could never really understand due to the lack of experiential verification.
What become experientially obvious to me was that, my real nature - my reals self, was transcendent to my mind. I realized that I was neither my thoughts nor my emotions.
If “I” could witness quite dispassionately, in a scientist-like fashion, the psychological behavior of my mind, “I” was obviously above my mind.
I simply advanced to a higher level of consciousness, from which I could observe the behavior of my mind and all of its dilemmas.
Attaining the ability to observe my anger energy arising before it became an explosion of anger, was a tremendous advancement along the path towards healing anger.
On the other hand however, it was merely the ability to control something that still lived in my psyche rather than, freedom from its unwanted, toxic subconscious presence.
Eventually I became aware that, the stage of controlling my still living in me anger, was as far as I could go by my own powers in terms of attaining liberation from anger.
What could I do to really heal anger, so that I would not have to periodically attend to its ugly reality?
A humbling realization was that, there was nothing that I could do by myself, but there was still a lot that had to be done to me.
I realized that, what I could not do by myself, could be done for me only through the agency of the Higher Power.
Only the Healing Mercy of God could completely heal me from my anger possession to the point at which the anger energy would not arise in my anymore.