Self-sabotage

Suicide is the ultimate self-sabotage. Most people don’t kill themselves but a lot of them kill whatever works in their lives. Sabotaging your efforts is like building a house and blowing it up before you move in.

I used to do this over and over again and eventually, I couldn’t do it anymore. The sense of hopelessness and pointlessness of my efforts pushed me over the edge, and I ended up in the state of suicidal depression. How much longer could I strive and struggle just to destroy everything that I struggled for so very hard?

The repeated blows that I delivered to my own self eventually caused a horrible depressive stagnation; I simply quit on attempting to achieve anything in my life.

In most cases, self-sabotage results from the early conditioning which “hypnotized” a child into believing that he does not deserve to be alive. When a mother considers an abortion, her unborn baby – on a very deep unconscious level – gets the idea that it has to die. Such an imprint creates an adult person who does not really kill himself, but kills everything that he does. In this way, he tries to fulfill his unconscious compulsion to “finish the job”, which the mother was thinking about, but has not brought to completion.

What is it that drives you to undermine your efforts? It is not always possible to uncover the cause. What is always possible is a new learning which your subconscious mind accepts and replaces for the formerly embraced self-destructive idea.

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